![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
10. The gouge out of my right shin where I fell as a kid while jumping from one wall to another in our back yard. It went so deep they said it left a mark on the bone and it looks like an ugly crater. I hate wearing short skirts because of it.
9. Mom's cesarean scar. Bless her, she wears it like a badge of honor, but I always feel bad when I see it. I know childbirth is supposed to hurt, but I hate that I hurt her that badly.
8. Grampa Will's war wound. That's what he calls it, anyway. They were fighting in Korea at the time, but he was in Ohio in civilian clothes. He fell off a bar stool and cracked his head open.
7. The huge holes in the countryside that are all around where I grew up that show where the strip mining was. They'll heal, some day, but for now they look like a monster came and rolled up the world like lifting sod.
6. Those lingering doubts that maybe I'm just not good enough to do. The scar sits somewhere just under my left breast and it burns sometimes when I can't get something to work. It's imagined, but it's still there.
5. Auschwitz. Went once with the foolish idea I could use something I learned there. Read that word again and see what kind of fool that makes me.
4. The lines going down the arms of men and women way too young to be chased that way.
3. The spot on Mom's cat where for some reason the fur never grew back after he had an IV once. I have no idea why not or why it bugs me so much. It looks sad.
2. An empty page.
1. The one down the cheek of a man who did me the kindness of telling me what he really thought.
9. Mom's cesarean scar. Bless her, she wears it like a badge of honor, but I always feel bad when I see it. I know childbirth is supposed to hurt, but I hate that I hurt her that badly.
8. Grampa Will's war wound. That's what he calls it, anyway. They were fighting in Korea at the time, but he was in Ohio in civilian clothes. He fell off a bar stool and cracked his head open.
7. The huge holes in the countryside that are all around where I grew up that show where the strip mining was. They'll heal, some day, but for now they look like a monster came and rolled up the world like lifting sod.
6. Those lingering doubts that maybe I'm just not good enough to do. The scar sits somewhere just under my left breast and it burns sometimes when I can't get something to work. It's imagined, but it's still there.
5. Auschwitz. Went once with the foolish idea I could use something I learned there. Read that word again and see what kind of fool that makes me.
4. The lines going down the arms of men and women way too young to be chased that way.
3. The spot on Mom's cat where for some reason the fur never grew back after he had an IV once. I have no idea why not or why it bugs me so much. It looks sad.
2. An empty page.
1. The one down the cheek of a man who did me the kindness of telling me what he really thought.
Dream Vacations
Feb. 19th, 2013 06:37 pmI'll preface this by saying I travel a lot. All over the US and a bit of Europe. I don't TAKE vacations. I go home and sleep at my parents when I need a break. As such, these are things done in a day or two. Moments stolen from work.
10. Waking in my bed at home. That's home as in my parents'. The house I grew up in. For a second I'm fifteen again and all is right with the world. God, I was a lucky brat.
9. There is a spot of beach in Texas that I found by accident. It's near the end, almost to Mexico. All you can see is water and fishing boats. I spent a day there just watching it all go by.
8. I want a huge wad of someone else's cash and I want to go to one of the big European casinos. On the Rivera, Monaco, I don't care. I want to dress up like a Bond Girl, drink extravagant beverages, have men watch me wondering who I am, and not give a fig if I loose it all. Having a night of totally meaningless pleasure afterward with someone who reinforces that Bond Girl thing would be icing on the cake, but the 'someone else's money' thing is crucial.
7. I haven't been to a theme park since I was a kid and there are tons of new ones. I want to go to one. Maybe not a US one. Japanese maybe? Rides and cotton candy and trinkets that cost a fortune all required.
6. Having water shot at me by little boys on a side street in Florence. The look of terror that the American was going to eat them with priceless and I will never forget their faces. It kept me in a good mood for a while.
5. I want to go to a day spa. Doesn't have to be fancy, but I want the whole deal. Mud bath, massage, pedicure, everything. I want to walk out of there feeling like I've slept for a week. Then…I want to sleep for at least a day. People can wait to see my freshly painted toes.
4. When I meet someone new and think that maybe I'll want to talk to them for more than a few hours. When I find that spark of something in them that goes beyond work I feel like everything is lighter.
3. Someday I want my parents to travel with me. Someplace in Europe, I think. Someplace I've been a few times so I can show them around and then let them wander while I work. They deserve to get away and see the world. I'd like to share that with them.
2. The first day in a new city, someplace I've never been. Not the small towns, they pretty much all feel alike. Cities. Rome was amazing the first day. Las Vegas the first time I went. Even with referrals, you have to get the feel of the place and that's always fun.
1. The hour after I've sent in the latest draft of a book. That shining, miniscule moment when I know I'm done with something. Like it or not, happy with it or not, it's done and I can relax.
549
10. Waking in my bed at home. That's home as in my parents'. The house I grew up in. For a second I'm fifteen again and all is right with the world. God, I was a lucky brat.
9. There is a spot of beach in Texas that I found by accident. It's near the end, almost to Mexico. All you can see is water and fishing boats. I spent a day there just watching it all go by.
8. I want a huge wad of someone else's cash and I want to go to one of the big European casinos. On the Rivera, Monaco, I don't care. I want to dress up like a Bond Girl, drink extravagant beverages, have men watch me wondering who I am, and not give a fig if I loose it all. Having a night of totally meaningless pleasure afterward with someone who reinforces that Bond Girl thing would be icing on the cake, but the 'someone else's money' thing is crucial.
7. I haven't been to a theme park since I was a kid and there are tons of new ones. I want to go to one. Maybe not a US one. Japanese maybe? Rides and cotton candy and trinkets that cost a fortune all required.
6. Having water shot at me by little boys on a side street in Florence. The look of terror that the American was going to eat them with priceless and I will never forget their faces. It kept me in a good mood for a while.
5. I want to go to a day spa. Doesn't have to be fancy, but I want the whole deal. Mud bath, massage, pedicure, everything. I want to walk out of there feeling like I've slept for a week. Then…I want to sleep for at least a day. People can wait to see my freshly painted toes.
4. When I meet someone new and think that maybe I'll want to talk to them for more than a few hours. When I find that spark of something in them that goes beyond work I feel like everything is lighter.
3. Someday I want my parents to travel with me. Someplace in Europe, I think. Someplace I've been a few times so I can show them around and then let them wander while I work. They deserve to get away and see the world. I'd like to share that with them.
2. The first day in a new city, someplace I've never been. Not the small towns, they pretty much all feel alike. Cities. Rome was amazing the first day. Las Vegas the first time I went. Even with referrals, you have to get the feel of the place and that's always fun.
1. The hour after I've sent in the latest draft of a book. That shining, miniscule moment when I know I'm done with something. Like it or not, happy with it or not, it's done and I can relax.
549
